How to have gay sex with your friend
Step Sixteen: After having the sex, ask to borrow some clothes then leave. And as far as she knows you've had sex many times in a future that will no longer happen, so she thinks to herself that maybe she should have one memory of it. You're naked, kissing her, in her bedroom, agreeing to erase a version of yourself from history to make her happy. Step Fifteen: There is now no possible way that you aren't about to have sex with her. It is important that you do this with the confidence of a man who has done this to her many times. Get to your feet and go to kiss her goodbye. Step Fourteen: Unless your friend is made of stone she will now be overcome by emotion, especially at your selflessness. If she questions this flaw in your time travel logic, because you cannot change the past, simply reference Back to the Future G) If she does exactly what you say this current version of yourself will be erased and you will never get married. She should stop him going to work that day This whole situation will be backed up by the Terminator franchiseĭ) In the future your relationship is not going wellĮ) You've come back in time because you can't help but feel that she would have been happier with her current boyfriend if he hadn't been killedį) Her current boyfriend is going to be hit by a bus on a day six months from her present. It's up to you to pick a reason, but I would recommend a war against machines. In your own words you must give a speech in which you mention all of these key points:Ī) You are married to each other in the futureĬ) The world is coming to an end. Step Thirteen: Now comes the hard part - The monologue. If she is educated to a decent standard she will realise that you are married and your ring has simply disappeared, because clothing and other items cannot travel through time. All women are very observant, so your friend will immediately notice the tanline on your wedding finger. Step Twelve: Raise your left hand to your face. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you've come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place. Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. Step Ten: If your friend is a curious person she will probably ask 'What worked?', even if she doesn't ask this question it is important that you now say the words '(Insert Friend's Name), I'm from the future' in your most deadpan voice. Step Nine: Upon hearing the year say the words 'It worked.' Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort. If it's September 15th she will say 'September 15th' to which you must reply 'No, what year is it?' Instead you must act confused and ask the date. Step Eight: When she asks you what's happened you should ignore her questions. She will be more concerned about your wellbeing instead of fearing the naked man in her room. The injuries to your body will serve as a distraction to your nakedness.
Allow her to turn you over and try to wake you for a few seconds before you open your eyes. Step Seven: When she enters the room pretend to be unconscious.
Step Six: Enter your friend's bedroom and lie face down on the floor. Step Five: Use the knife to cut your body in various places. Step Four: Remove all your clothes and break into your friend's house.
#How to have gay sex with your friend full
Step Three: After a month when your beard is full and your tan is noticeable, remove the ring from your finger. Step Two: Stop shaving and use the sunbed to gain a tan. Step One: Place the ring on your wedding finger and avoid contact with your friend for a month. What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sunbed, the ability to grow a beard. So, you're in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and probably wouldn't have sex with you anyway.